One Week Perspective as a Working Mom
I'm feeling much better after my boo-hoo kitty post from Monday. Holly does indeed remember who I am and is once again giving me smiles and coos. It's been an adjustment, no doubt, but we're slowly working our way into a new routine. She's attending an at-home daycare with 4 other kids, ages 3-7. The older kids are in school during the day so mornings are just her and one other boy who thinks she is AWESOME! He talks to her all day long, and once Steve walked in to find him doing somersaults in front of her. Four months old and already she's got herself boyfriend. The other kids are enamored of her as well, tickling her feet and generally making her the center of attention. She's obviously loving it; even after one week she's already trying to make new sounds we've never heard before. The only downfall is that with all the activity she's not napping well in the afternoon and by the time we get her home she's pretty cranky. Hopefully that will get better as our routines get more established.
As for work, it's surprising how everything is almost exactly the same but then it's completely different. The status of the program seems to have been swirling for the past four months such that I was able to step right in pretty much at the same point I left off. Of course there has been progress, but I was in a meeting on Thursday where I swear we were having the exact same broken-record discussion from before I left. That was pretty depressing. Even more depressing, however, is how empty the parking lot is these days. We've lost a lot of good people from this program over the past year. There's a dejected atmosphere in the hallways, a lot of gallows humor. Hopefully we can stop dicking around and start building something that isn't powerpoint charts.
Before having Holly I used to come in early, leave late, and dedicate my energy to my job. I knew that I wouldn't be able to devote that kind of commitment after having a baby but I didn't really realize what that meant. I thought it mostly meant leaving work at a consistent hour, which is true, but more than that. I have to pump twice during the day to keep my milk supply up and that takes about an hour all told. Steve and I are alternating drop-off/pick-up at daycare but because we are going to a lady's house the hours aren't as generous as for a standard daycare center. To top it all off she starts her bedtime routine at 6:30 so there's very little time to play with each other after I get home. In other words, it's very difficult to get my 9 hours in and still be a good mom. I was feeling pretty dejected about the new reality until I made the decision to apply to work part time. I figure that a 7hr work day will still allow me to get the bulk of my job done and be a good mom to boot. I asked my (new) boss about this and he was on board with the idea. I submitted the paperwork on Friday and haven't received it back yet, but I'm pretty sure it will be approved. I'm already mentally committed to being a part-time employee so I really really really hope everything goes ok.
Hey - the monkey's got something to say to you: